


He is not here

by JKirin



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Established Relationship, Feels, Long-Distance Relationship, Love these idiots, M/M, Naruto Misses Sasuke, Sad and Sweet, Short One Shot, Slice of Life, True Love, Winter, Yes even in summer I write stories about winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:02:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26523376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKirin/pseuds/JKirin
Summary: When you miss someone, there is a void inside that just can't be filled and you fall right into its dark suffocating trap. Comfort comes from the strangest places then – notice it, hold onto it, find your way back. Naruto finds his. SasuNaru
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	1. Naruto

Dirty snow squishes under his shoes as he walks through busy streets, not paying mind to constant noises and voices around. Faceless bodies pass him by, pushing each other out of the way, bumping into him from one side, another. Not that he cares, he just walks further, driven by the need to go—to get away.

Involuntarily, he gives a little shiver as the wind chill flicked at his bare hands and crept under the sleeves. It is freezing outside and the coat he is wearing does little to warm him up. Still, the man refuses to stop to put on a hat and gloves that are inside his backpack. Instead, he just shoves both hands in his pockets away from the wind – this will do for now. Startled by finding a cold metal object inside, he stops but doesn't look at it, remembering now what it is – a symbol of warmth, a promise of home. He clasps it tight in a fist and furiously shakes away the memory, resuming the journey.

It's been months since that place had warmth, months since he called it a home, so he's been staying elsewhere. But nowhere, really, can come even close to what that place once was to him. So he walks further—away from _everywhere_.

Some woman bumps into him with full force, stepping on the vamp of his leather shoes with sharp heels. "Watch it, moron!" she shouts, pushing him aside and walking away not even listening to his quiet _Sorry_. It doesn't even cross his's mind that the fault wasn't his.

The incident made him stop and the man looks around the street trying to remember if he has ever been here before. A book shop and cafe on the other side of the road look somewhat familiar, but he can't wrap his head around it. Everything looks so different lately, lacking the usual ambiance. Even his own reflection that he catches a glimpse of in a window looks foreign, but—so what?

There is a bar just a bit further down the street, he notices a big ad of tonight's concert in there. He knows the band's name – it is the one he listens often, and always wanted to hear them live. His evening is free, there is no need to check the phone for schedule – it's been free for the past few months and will stay as such for at least few more. Perfect opportunity, but Naruto doesn't feel like going because going there today would mean going alone and the thought stings. Trying to chase it away he rakes a hand through blond hair and pulls at it hard, eyes shut tight. It _persists_.

"You shouldn't be without a hat in this cold" the words snap him back to reality and Naruto turns around to find an old man looking up at him with a soft smile. "A young handsome man like yourself should take better care of himself" Cheeks growing pink from the warmth in the stranger's voice, he responds with thanks that the hat is with him and he will wear it later. As the old man wishes him a good day and walks away, he can't stop himself from smiling at the odd encounter. He shakes head and resumes the walk.

Another gust of wind blows in his face and sends a wave of shivers down the neck and spine. The key still clasped tightly in his hand weighs down heavily but instead of the original cold, its begins to give warmth back to his fingers. It's comforting, it feels like home again, but the feeling quickly fades because— _he is not here_. The blond releases the hold of the metal and brushes away the warm feeling over the outside of his coat.

Seeing a public park across the street Naruto takes a long jump over a slushy puddle, then crosses the road quickly, carefully avoiding the traffic. As he walks through its large metal gates he is met with a quiet—in stark contrast to the street—and hears for the first time a loud grumble escaping his stomach. The thought of missed breakfast and also lunch crossed his mind and he looks around the park just to find a lonely hotdog stand not far away. Not a healthy choice, but its not like there is anyone around to care what he eats or remind him of value of vegetables.

It doesn't smell that bad at all, he thinks eating quietly while walking towards one of the alleys. Only now he notices snow all over the place – it covers the ground, trees, bushes and benches with a thick white blanket. When was the last time he actually paid attention to weather? Or his surroundings for that matter?

Finding a bench cleared of snow, he sits and tries to ignore the chill spreading up from his thighs. He's been walking for a while now and needed to rest for a bit. Near him a large crow ferrets around in fruitless attempt to find food under broken branches. Black feathers stand out against the white of snow when it spreads its wings, reminding him of something—of someone—and he looks away.

Then looks back and feels sorry for the bird, it is trying so hard to find anything edible. So he throws in a piece of bread and smiles when the bird cheerfully grabs it and flies away.

As the man turns away, he is met with two other crows on the side of the bench. They walk closer and wait, look, walk closer, and wait. Then he throws them a couple of crumbs, only this time the birds don't pick up them at all – with a mixture of hoarse clicking sounds and caws they call up all their friends. In a second or so, Naruto is surrounded by at least a dozen other black birds and he laughs. _Well played_ , thinks he and throws all remaining bread to the bird crowd, mouth spreading wide in a smile, stretching muscles that've been tense for a long time.

He enjoys watching birds pick apart the pieces and share with others. Such intelligent beings. For this moment right there he forgets about the pain, about the loss, but as soon as the birds fly away, the dull ache returns firmly back to his core. _He is not here_ echoes through inside once again and Naruto stands up, brushes off and just goes. He walks away from here – from everywhere, where _he_ is not.

It gets dark in the park and he looks at his watch, is it really this late? But, really, it's not. Winter nights come here early, he remembers it now, they turn light into shadows without a warning, there is almost no twilight – either day or a night. But they blurred into one for him long time ago.

Wind picks up and the chill flicks his ears, forcing him to a stop and pull out a hat from the backpack. As it covers his head and soft faux fur tickles both cheeks the man smiles, its so warm. Then, there are gloves and his fingers send tingles enjoying the texture.

As he walks through already lifeless park in the yellow light of street lamps, Naruto sees little shadows dancing on the white of the road. Just like insects they swirl, soar down and hover – but they can't be because insects don't fly in winter. He looks up to the light, just to check out what it is and is met with snow flurries falling down from the sky. Thick swirling masses land down on his cheeks, and the eyes, but he just can't stop staring – they fall down so quietly, slowly, that everything calms. It was windy before but right now the world's still, and he stands there, watching and _feeling_ —melting snow rolling down his face, salty water burning chapped lips.

Piece of metal—the key—suddenly in his hand and he looks at, vision blurry. Sasuke is not here, but _there_ , at least, he once was. They both were. It's been home to them once, and it will be again. Not today, not tomorrow, but—for sure—one day.

So, he turns and then runs to the exit, the street, fresh snow squishing beneath, holding onto the key like a lifeline. He takes turn at a corner and stumbles on garbage, then runs into people, but brushes away, apologizing in haste. Cold air stings in his lungs, but the man doesn't pause, doesn't even his breath, he can't wait to get back—to their place, to their house. It is empty today as it will be tomorrow and after, and after. _He is not here_ , but Naruto will be okay. Not today, but with time.

Few more turns and the house comes into view, it's as dark as it's cold, but no longer so frightening. The man walks towards it with resolve, heartbeat's loud. He will walk up the stairs and open the door, make hot chocolate, sit by the window—just the way that they used to—and will wait for _him_ here. No more running away.

One more deep breath and Naruto makes little step, shakes his head, and walks all the way to the front door. Little key slides inside the keyhole and he freezes – behind him the snow crunches loudly. He turns. Heartbeat pounds in both ears. It can't be.

Tall dark figure and luggage. He doesn't resist the urge to run down the stairs. He embraces the man in a tight bear hug.

"You, damn asshole" growls he, breathing in the familliar scent. _He is here_ , it echoes inside. _He is here._

"Missed you, too, idiot. Missed you, too"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🌬❄️❄️❄️


	2. Sasuke

There was a void in Sasuke's chest – hollow dark space that only grew bigger and colder with time. Heavy. The emptiness weighed on him so that waking up, eating, _breathing_ took more and more effort with every passing day. 

It rang loud in both ears—the cry in his mind— _He is not here_.

But it's all in the past because now, he was on the front yard of their house with his most precious person pressed against him – pushing the darkness away, filling the void with warmth. 

Snow fell slowly around them in large weightless flakes. 

_He is here_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100 words!


End file.
